Not Present: An Andrew Story
by ILoveJohnDye
Summary: This is about Andrew having a vision of what his life could be like if he was human, with a wife and a daughter. Hope you like it! Enjoy!


Not Present: An Andrew Story

By Cassandra Erskine

It was cold out, but I didn't care. My mind was overwhelmed by crazy thoughts and ideas. Thoughts that an Angel is not supposed to think of, not care about. But my mind was full of then. Swarmed. Engulfed. Consumed. And I wasn't happy. Depression had taken over me. Angels aren't suppose to get depressed, but I couldn't escape it. I was trapped. Screaming inside. Like a wild lion in a cage.

My physical body was standing at the edge of a cliff, overlooking a vast valley of trees and meadows. The sky was gloomy. The air was dry. The clouds looked like they were promising rain, but it never came. The trees, looking dead and bare. Leaves blanketing the ground. And where the leaves were not, you could see the brown grass blowing in the breeze, fragile and ready to be taken away by the wind. The land looked lifeless. Abandoned. Unable to sustain a single life. A wasteland. It was the perfect place to be alone with my feelings and to deal with them.

That day I had been wearing worn out faded jeans with holes at the knees, old running shoes, a grey sweater and a long brown coat that was open and blew in the wind. I had a pure whit scarf that was almost 2 times the length of my body. It whipped around behind me in the wind. My body was present in this scene, but my mind wasn't. It had been taken captive and dragged away against it's will into another world. A world of 'If's' and 'Could Be's'. Of lies, dreams, and illusions. If you are confused and have no idea what I'm talking about, I'll try and make it easier for you to understand. You see, my sight has been taken over by a vision. Not a vision of the future, or of the past. It's a 'Could be' vision. An 'If Only' vision. A vision about what my life would be like if I was human.

In my vision, I was sitting on a bench in a public park. It was a beautiful, sunny, spring day. The grass and tree leaves were bright green and shined in the sun's rays. In the center of the park was giant sand box with a colourful jungle gym. There were other benches surrounding the play area with parents sitting on them watching there children play and explore. The birds were singing and the children were screaming, chattering and just having fun. Everything was perfect.

I knew what I was seeing wasn't real. It's was just a vision, I kept reminding myself, This isn't real, it's just a vision. But as the minutes went by, I started to stop saying it. I started to get caught up in the vision. I started to forget that I was really standing on the edge of a cliff, depressed. Lost. Maybe I didn't want to remember. Maybe I wanted this vision to be the truth.

Suddenly I heard a voice call out, "Daddy!" in my direction. I looked forward to see that a little girl with light brown hair and a big smile on her face was running towards me. I was started by this event and said to myself, What did she call me? When she had arrived at where I was sitting, she put her hands on my knees, looked right into my eyes and excitedly asked, "Daddy! Did you see me?" Her eyes and hair where what caught my attention the most. Her eyes were green. My eyes are green. She also had light brown hair. Well, so do I, just like me. It was long and pulled back into a messy ponytail. Naturally, I answered her question saying, "No, I didn't." Then she gave me a frustrated sigh, threw her head back and said, "You did she me go down the big slide?" "Sorry." I replied. Then she turned around and stomped back over towards the play set saying, "Well, I guess I'll just have to do it again." Then she turned around, looked at me and ordered, "Watch this time!" Then she continued on towards the slide.

A few seconds later it hit me, and I questioned out loud, "I'm a father?" I ran my fingers through my hair and looked to my right to see people at the next bench over looking at me, with concerned looks on their faces. I faced forward and then thought of how that could have happened, the result of that led to some scary ideas (scary to an Angel). Then I realized that if there was a daughter, then there would have to be a mother, a wife! I could feel my face getting warm, red. Suddenly I heard a voice say, "Hi Honey!" and a lady sat down beside me. I looked at her and she was looking at me. Then her face became concerned and she said, "Andrew, are you okay?" "I........ I don't know." I responded. "Daddy!" I heard. I looked over at the slide to see that the little girl was ready to go down the slide. "Watch!" She instructed. Then she sat down and pushed herself down the slide. When she had planted her feet back on the ground, I gave her the 'thumbs up'. Then I looked at my feet. The lady beside me, apparently my wife said, "She looks so much like you." She affectionately took hold of my arm, leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder. I didn't move. This was strange, foreign to me. I had never experienced anything like that before. Being loved like that. "How old is she again?" I asked "I'm drawing a blank." "Your daughter is 6 years old Andrew." She said with a disappointed sound in her voice. Then I sifted my free hand through my hair, since the lady beside me, my wife, was holding my other hand.

The little girl was now running towards us, flailing her arms in the air, over joyed with pride and excitement. "Did you see me this time?" She asked us. "Yes Katie, we saw you. Good job!" Said my wife. I smiled at the little girl, who looked a lot like me. My daughter. My head was starting to hurt. I was getting confused between the truth and the vision. I wanted to fall to the ground and I wanted to scream and cry. But not here. Not now." Then the lady said, "Okay, it's time to go." "Aww!" My daughter complained. Me and my wife then rose from the bench and started to walk. I was just about to walk to the right when my wife said, "Andrew, the car is this way." Then she pointed to the left. "Left, got it." I replied. The little girl took hold of my hand as we walked towards the edge of the park. "Honey, are you alright? Maybe you should make a doctor's appointment." The lady suggested. I just nodded. But suddenly my head started to throb in pain. It was terrible, like nothing I had ever felt before. I thought my head was going to split right in half. Having no control anymore of myself, I yelled, "I'm hallucinating!" Then I collapsed. I just laid motionless on the ground. I heard screaming, probably of my wife and daughter who didn't really exist. Everything around me started to fade away. Within moments, I was back to where I been left. I was on the ground, I thought that I must have fallen during my mind's absence. My arms dangled over the cliff's edge. I then pushed myself up, into the kneeling position. I slowly took deep breaths to calm myself down. I had finally returned.

I knew the vision wasn't of God, because God is truth and only truth. No lies. No hallucinations. Just truth. The vision was of the opposite of God. It was of evil, of Satan. I wasn't going to let it lurk around in my mind. So I said out loud to the evil, "God did not give me a spirit of fear, but of love and power and a sound mind." Then I stood up, took one last look at what was before me, then I walked away from it. Leaving the depression and the lies behind me, and I never looked back.


End file.
